Breaking News: There is a rat in the house. It has been spotted in the kitchen by several witnesses yesterday as well as this morning when it frightened a three-year old toddler in the living room. Said toddler was unharmed, but all children will be strictly quarantined in the nursery till the dirty rodent has been exterminated. This writer will NOT venture out of his room until the rat is killed. He will not ask to have visual confirmation of the rat's execution but will depend on his father's sworn word.
The last time a rat was discovered in this house was in the late 1990s when the creature was executed by scalding. The same mode of execution will be used now in order for neighboring vermin to hear the death squeals of its kin and serve as a warning that they will meet the same fate dare they venture near this house.
